T is in the room. Is it just me or does it seem like Christmas was just here ? I suppose as I get older time really does start to fly. I personally look forward to this holiday season with a certain amount of trepidation. I don't mind sharing a little personal info with you guys. My wife and I have ended a 21 year relationship. It was her idea not mine, although I freely admit I was the major cause in the collapse of our relationship, I still love her dearly. Love is not an on/off switch unfortunately mine is still on.
This will be the first holiday season in 21 years I spend without her. No thanksgiving day dinner with her and my family oops her family. See it is so ingrained in me I kinda feel lost. No Christmas and all the trappings that go along with it. The only family I have left is really you guys. My C & S family. So I will pour myself into the company and hopefully that will keep me occupied. I do not mind admitting to you, at this conjuncture in my life I am very sad and very lonely.
Couple that with all the shit that has happened to the company, sometimes I really do feel like shooting myself. However that's just an expression I think the company and it's various websites and interaction I get with all of my customers friends, subscribers and the such really keep me going. Even if it's a self made illusion I keep saying to myself they need me. In the end I know that's not true. If I and C & S were to just drop off the face of the planet today, what real impact have I had on anyone ? You all would simply move on to other drum retailers, other Blogs and other You Tube pages. Up until this moment I think my impact on the drum world and any of you has been negligible at best.
C & S is really all I have, hopefully it will be all I need. I plan on pouring my heart and soul into the company this coming year like never before. I still need to clean up the mess the hacking has caused but once that is cleared up it will be full steam ahead. This morning I'm feeling a little down and overwhelmed. I didn't write this for anyone to feel sorry for me. I made the mess I currently find myself in. I just think writing it down is a little therapeutic for me. I'm so glad I have the company to focus on without it I honestly do not know what I would do. That's all I wanted to say for now. Look for my next blog which will give alot of details of what's coming up site wise and product wise next few months. Till next time. T